New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
