look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I will pee on everything he values.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
