I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
