Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
