There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
