His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
