My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
