The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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