i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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