you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
