Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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