In the future we'll all be gay
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
