Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
