i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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