dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my shit smells like andre
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
