i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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