I want to have your abortion
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
