do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
