a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
