I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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