Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
