You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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