My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
