Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
