So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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