Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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