In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
