Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
