I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
