I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
