i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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