it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
