Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
