Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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