Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
