i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish you could order shots online.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
