everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
