K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
