Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
