talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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