so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
