took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
