no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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