so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I will be naked everywhere
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
