I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize