i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
