I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
