Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's rum buckets o'clock
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
