I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
