So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
