So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
