i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
