I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
