All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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