Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
