16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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