i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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